The 7 Biggest Therapy Myths
If you’ve ever watched a movie or TV show featuring a therapist, chances are you’ve gotten a terribly inaccurate impression of what real therapy is really like.
Most therapists are portrayed engaging in unethical, if not downright illegal, activities that would do serious harm to their clients and jeopardize their license. While these depictions aren’t real, they can have real-world consequences.
Today I’m dispelling some of the biggest myths about therapy to reduce the stigma and ensure more people get the help and support they need.
Table of Contents
Therapy is only for severe problems
Therapy is just talking
Your therapist will tell you what to do
Your therapist will push you to talk
Your therapist gets paid to care about you
Your therapist is your friend
You have to stick with your first therapist
Therapy is only for severe problems
While therapy is incredibly effective for serious mental health concerns, you don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy.
There’s a misconception that needing or wanting therapy means you’re “crazy” or on the verge of a breakdown. This is unfortunate because therapy is a wonderful way to work through and resolve concerns before they become overwhelming or untenable.
Therapy is an incredible way to build a meaningful and value-driven life. Your therapist can help you clarify what really matters to you and overcome the roadblocks that get in the way.
It’s a wonderful way to get an objective perspective on your life, to help you navigate difficult issues, and get a unique kind of support and guidance that you can’t get from friends or family.
Some common issues that people go to therapy with include:
Safely opening yourself up to new relationships
Pursuing a dream career
Assertively standing up for yourself without feeling bad about it
My own experience with a caring therapist inspired me to overcome my self-doubt and pursue my dream of becoming a therapist!
Related: Simple Ways to Be More Assertive
Therapy is just talking
While talking is a large part of the therapy process, it’s so much more than that.
It’s very different from talking to friends or family members about your struggles because therapists are trained to look at the process as a whole, dig deeper, find meaning, uncover desires, and move you towards your goals.
Therapy is an interactive process that can involve role playing, experiential exercises (like mindful breathing), or active goal-setting and problem solving.
If your previous experience of therapy consisted of you talking the whole time without much input from your therapist, I highly recommend looking for one with a more active approach.
Therapy can be incredibly successful when you feel like your therapist is attuned to your needs, understanding what you’re saying, and actively participating in an engaged conversation. Therapy may not always be deep, but it’s always more than “just talking”.
Related: 5 Myths About EMDR Therapy
Your therapist will tell you what to do
At some point, most of us have wanted someone to just tell us what to do.
It’s understandable considering that it relieves the pressure of choosing the “right” or “correct” path.
Contrary to what you see on TV or in movies, therapists won’t tell you exactly what to do. We’re not psychic, so we’d be doing you a disservice by pretending we know what will happen and how you should handle it.
A good therapist will give you their opinion or even their concerns, but they won’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do.
Instead, therapy can help uncover your goals and desires as well as what truly matters to you. Doing so helps you make decisions based on what you want, making it easier to know what’s right for you. You’ll get tons of support and guidance along the way.
And don’t worry, we do have practical, research-backed tools to help reduce symptoms. For instance, breathing and grounding techniques for anxiety and panic, or methods for creating and holding boundaries.
Related: 3 Ways to Calm a Panic Attack
Need to Set boundaries but aren’t sure how?
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Your therapist will push you to talk
I was recently watching a movie where the main character had experienced something traumatic and she was now seeing a therapist.
At one point, her therapist started pressuring her to talk about this traumatic event. She began lecturing that it’s the only way to process and move on. I’ve seen a variation on this trope in at least a few films.
I had to laugh because it was cringey at best, terrible therapy at worst.
While at times your therapist may challenge you, a good therapist won’t pressure you to talk about anything before you’re ready. We will help prepare you to feel ready, confront any avoidance or underlying fears, and process whatever shows up.
If you consistently feel pressured to talk, bring it up with your therapist so you can work through it. If they get defensive or you feel unheard, then you may need to consider finding a new one.
Your therapist is paid to care about you
This is a very important distinction: you’re not paying your therapist to care about you. You’re paying them for their time. The caring part comes free.
Therapists care about helping others, it’s why we choose to go through the very long (and frankly, awful) process of becoming one. It’s something we want to do and choose to dedicate our professional lives to it.
So the compensation you provide is purely for your therapist to set aside time to be completely present with you and no one else.
It’s the only way a therapist will be able to make that space for you, and bring their wealth of clinical knowledge to help you.
If you’re feeling resentful or icky about the compensation part, this is a wonderful topic to bring up with your current (or future) therapist to work through so that it doesn’t get in the way of getting the support you need.
Your therapist is your friend
Your therapist is your cheerleader and supporter, not your friend.
This is because friendships need to be a two-way street and therapy is specifically designed to be all about you.
It’s one of the few places in the world that you can show up without the expectation of reciprocating or worrying about someone else’s feelings.
Your therapist can (and hopefully will) be friendly and warm, however because you are paying for a service, the therapeutic relationship is a professional one by necessity. When you pay for a service, there are expectations that won’t be present in a personal relationship.
And please know that wanting to be friends with your therapist is totally normal! This is a very common occurrence. In fact, it’s a wonderful topic to bring up and work through.
You have to stick with your first therapist
The therapeutic relationship is one of the most important components of successful therapy. It’s arguably the most important.
Every therapist is different and most of us have specialties that may not align with your needs. Trying out a few can help you feel out what you’re looking for in a therapist, especially if you’ve never been before.
If you don’t click, you’re not obligated to stay. In fact, your current therapist would appreciate the feedback and gladly provide referrals to someone who might be a better fit for you.
And even if you love your therapist, priorities can shift and you may find you need a different type or style of therapy.
For instance, many people benefit from group therapy after a difficult loss or find EMDR therapy helps get them unstuck when traditional talk therapy just isn’t getting there. Both of these types of therapy can be done in conjunction with individual therapy or on their own.
Related: What is EMDR therapy?
There you have it! The biggest myths about therapy that prevent people from seeking help. I hope the process feels less intimidating and more inviting.
Remember that if at any point you’re dissatisfied with therapy or your therapist does something you don’t like, you can always bring up your issues or find a new one.
Therapy can be a life-changing process. If you’ve never tried it before because you’re concerned about any of these myths, I hope this has calmed some of your fears and given you the confidence to take the next step.
