How to Stop Wasting Your Free Time
Are you wondering how to stay idle without feeling guilty?
Maybe your mind is constantly worried about work, juggling lots of responsibilities, or you have a never-ending to-do list scrolling in your head. Or maybe you spend hours mindlessly scrolling social media, watching things you’re barely paying attention to, or feel bored and restless.
Rest isn’t just a way to be more productive while you work (although that’s a secondary benefit), it’s a much-needed tool for your brain’s overall health.
If you’d like to stop wasting your free time and actually enjoy it, then read on for some simple tips!
Reframe Your Concept of Free Time
It’s time to rethink the concept of rest and free time entirely.
Growing up, you probably got the message that sitting around was a form of laziness, and that you should find something to do. In moderation, this is absolutely true and useful.
But when taken too far, it becomes almost impossible to enjoy your free time because there’s still a story that “rest = lazy” in the back of your head.
Before the Industrial Revolution, society as a whole valued leisure time as a way to connect with friends and loved ones, share stories, and rest after a hard day’s labor.
Once labor became a race towards efficiency, rest and leisure were suddenly reframed as inefficient. This is particularly prevalent in the last few decades with the rise of knowledge work vs. manual labor. This is despite the fact that countless studies have proven our brains require rest in order to function. The law of diminishing returns tells us that after a certain amount of time without rest, your productivity becomes negative.
So in order to truly enjoy your free time, you need to completely reframe your down time as leisure. Leisure is essential for your brain’s health and your overall well-being. Whenever that “lazy story” pops in your head, remind yourself it’s outdated and unhelpful.
Track Your Habits
Once you’ve gotten into the habit of thinking of your free time as leisure, go through your typical week and start looking for your biggest time wasters. Think about activities that don’t leave you feeling replenished or entertained.
Is it mindlessly scrolling on your phone?
Getting lost in a Wikipedia rabbit hole?
Sitting and worrying about your upcoming week?
This will help you determine the behaviors and activities you need to scale back or phase out entirely. If something is relatively harmless in small doses (like reading interesting Wiki pages or scrolling Reddit), then there’s likely no need to stop. You’d just need to commit to a time limit.
Any activity that offers no real value and you can’t seem to cap how long you do it while likely need to be phased out (like sitting around worrying or mindlessly scrolling on your phone for hours).
This is going to establish your baseline to understand how you’re already spending your time. It’ll give you a clearer picture for what needs to change and what can remain the same. Not everything needs to be revamped, even if it’s not the best use of your time.
Related: How to Stop Overthinking & Worrying
Decide how you’d like to spend your free time
Think about the larger goals you have regarding using your free time better. Start with what you hope will happen once you’ve stopped wasting time. What are your goals?
Here are some questions to consider:
Is there anything in particular you’re hoping to accomplish?
Is there a new skill you’d like to learn?
Would you like more time to be social? Something else?
Personally, I wanted to stop getting so stressed out and actually enjoy my free time to prevent burnout. So instead of a constant feeling of unproductiveness, laziness, and low simmering anxiety, my goal was to feel replenished, refreshed, and re-energized.
You may have entirely different goals, which is great! The important piece is mapping this out ahead of time so whenever you feel lost or start to fall back into old habits, you can realign with these goals.
Clarify these goals ahead of time and if you’re unsure, consider the bigger why. How would your life change for the better if you were using your free time wisely?
Write a list of your favorite activities
It may sound silly, but it’s very helpful to create a running list of your favorite activities that you already enjoy.
Why?
Because when you’re bored, stressed, or restless, you’re much more likely to reach for a quick dopamine hit (which will likely be phone scrolling) than think of and engage in a meaningful activity.
When you have a list of activities to choose from, you’re more likely to see something that sparks your interest.
And if nothing sounds interesting, just pick one activity at random. Research tells us that motivation follows action, meaning you’ll likely get into after you’ve started, rather than beforehand. It’s far better to pick something and do it than wait until you feel like doing it.
Instructions:
Set a timer and brain dump as many activities as you can think of
Don’t limit it to recent ones! Think about activities you used to enjoy, as far back as childhood
Keep your list visible and easily accessible
This activity will also allow you to find any connecting threads between activities, which helps you find new ones.
For instance, if a large portion of your list consists of making things, you may want to consider taking a class, like woodworking or jewelry making.
If it’s full of social activities, consider joining a team, hiking group, or book club.
If you’re struggling to come up with anything, you may want to consider activities you’ve never tried before to see if you like them. Your mind may have judgments or worries about it not making a difference, but the only way to learn is through experience. You may try something and hate it or end up loving it.
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Plan your free time in advance
Pay attention to the rhythm of your week so you can pick activities that align with your natural energy.
For instance, if you’re usually drained right after work, it’s probably not a great idea to schedule a creative or high-energy activity. Instead, consider something restful like a guided meditation or a short walk.
If you’re craving social interaction after work, you wouldn’t want to schedule meditation or solitary activities. It would probably be best to schedule something social, whether in-person or virtual.
Whatever activity you decide to do, make sure you know why you’re doing it. This way, even if you’re stressed out and don’t feel like doing it, you can still choose to do something that matters to you. You might feel like skipping out, but that larger “why” will compel you to follow through.
This is also the difference between binge watching a show that you’re barely paying attention to versus watching an engaging show you love because you want to know what happens next. You’re intentionally watching because it’s enjoyable versus watching because you don’t know what else to do.
Related: How to Build Healthy Habits
Harm reduce time that doesn’t feel free
You may find that as you go through your week, there are certain times that are technically free, but aren’t particularly enjoyable.
Let’s use an example that most people don’t enjoy: commuting.
Commutes can be a real pain, especially when they unintentionally stretch out your workday. Or maybe you have to drive your kid to school or an appointment and it cuts into your personal free time.
See if you can do something called harm reducing. This is where you take a situation that’s out of your control (in this case, being required to drive somewhere), and find ways to reduce the harm it’s causing.
In this case, harm reduction might look like choosing a different way to drive that takes advantage of this free time and doesn’t feel so draining. Here are some ideas to try:
Rearrange your morning routine to give yourself enough time for a leisurely drive instead of rushing
Listen to your favorite album, podcast, or chat with a friend
Take a different route that makes the drive more pleasant
This isn’t to say you’ll suddenly arrive at work or your appointments all Zen and happy. You may still feel stressed and that’s OK. The point is to feel more empowered over your time to use it how you’d like. You may even find that stress or dread start to dissipate the more you practice.
If you need to drive your kids somewhere, you could create a playlist of everyone’s favorite songs or use it as an opportunity to chat with them.
Related: 5 Ways to Reduce Stress Today
I hope these tips help you create a routine of rest and relaxation that doesn’t feel like a waste of time.
You may find it difficult to give up some of your mindless habits, which is totally normal and OK. The important part is continuing to build better habits that foster enjoyment, even when you don’t feel like. Soon, you’ll stop feeling like all your time is sucked up by things you don’t even enjoy.
For more reading on this topic, I highly recommend the book Do Nothing by Celeste Headlee (as well as some other recommendations: Life-Changing Books to Read This Year)
