5 Tips to Set New Year's Resolutions That Stick
The start of a new year is a great time to set intentions and resolutions. It’s an opportunity to assess what worked well over the past year and areas that could use some improvement.
Most people struggle to stick with their resolutions for a variety of reasons. Whether it’s too vague, too unrealistic, or simply too challenging, it’s easy to give up and then feel disappointed or even angry at yourself.
The good news is that there are ways to choose New Year’s resolutions that you can actually follow through on to get the results you’re hoping for. The key is setting them up in a specific way so you’re more likely to stick to them.
Read on to find out how you can set New Year’s resolutions that stick.
Table of Contents
Tie The Goal To Something Meaningful
Make Your Resolution Specific and Action-Based
Create Smaller Goals
Get An Accountability Partner
Give Yourself a Break When You Stumble
Tie the goal to something meaningful
It’s not enough to say you want to learn a new skill or hobby, or get healthy, or anything else if you’re not entirely sure why you’re doing it.
Make sure that when you’re deciding what you want to commit to, you first clarify why this resolution is important to you.
It may seem obvious, but this is a step that is often neglected or taken for granted. You might just think it’s something you’re “supposed” to do, which only means you’ll feel guilty when you don’t meet unrealistic goals.
Think about the specific reasons why each goal important to you to make sure it’s not something you think you “should” do.
“Should” creates an obligation, and obligations are a chore. Chores aren’t very fun or motivating. Instead, see if you can reframe your resolution into an ongoing project that will naturally ebb and flow.
Clarifying the deeper meaning underlying your project gives you the option of choosing what’s more important to you whenever you don’t feel like it.
Because you may not always feel like following through on a resolution you’ve set, but you can choose to engage in it anyway because it means something important to you.
Example:
Let’s say you’ve set a New Year’s Resolution to start walking everyday. Whether it’s outside or on a treadmill, your goal is to move your body everyday.
You might feel a burst of motivation at the beginning, but at some point you’ll likely not feel like it and be faced with a choice. Do you give in to temptation and skip your walk? Or do you get moving, even though you really don’t feel like it?
Your choice becomes much easier because you clarified the deeper meaning under your resolution. In this case, your goals might be:
Get more fresh air
Improve your mental health
Prioritize long-term mobility by moving your body
So unless you have an injury, are sick, or are intentionally taking a day off, the choice becomes clear. It’s far more important to prioritize your well-being and do the task when it’s tie to something meaningful and not just because you “should”.
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Make Your Resolution specific and action-Based
Making your resolutions too vague or outcome-based is a big reason most resolutions fail. An example of this might be “get in shape” or “make a new friend.” These aren’t specific enough and aren’t process-oriented (meaning, what are the steps you’ll take to reach that outcome).
Once you’ve decided what you’d like to work on, check that it’s specific enough and clearly defines the actions you need to take.
For instance, “get healthy” is way too vague and there are any number of actions involved in healthy living. Consider what health means to you and what specific behaviors align with being healthier.
Same with “make a new friend.” This is an outcome you’re hoping for, but it’s out of your control. Instead, a better goal might be: “do more activities that widen my social network.” Choosing to engage in the activities is within your control and likely to lead to more friends.
Getting specific on your actions also means it’s measurable. A vague, nebulous concept that’s hard to define is also hard to commit to. How will you know it’s working? Without defining your actions, there’s no way to really know if you’ve met your goals.
Set yourself up for success by getting as specific as possible!
Create Smaller Goals
Instead of creating something for the whole year, try breaking down larger goals into smaller, more manageable, goals.
You may find that you prefer quarterly or monthly goals that tie into a larger intention for the year instead of the pressure of sustaining something year-round.
You could try creating a value-based word the defines your year and build your smaller goals around it. For instance, “health” or “connection” or “adventure”.
Your goals and abilities might change depending on the season, your overall health, work, or relationships. Taking a more flexible approach makes it more likely you stick with what you’ve committed to.
Examples:
Not sure what this might look like in practice? Here are some ideas to get you started:
If your New Year’s Resolution is to write a book, you may want to have a monthly goal of writing at least a few minutes every day. At the end of the month, do a quick check-in to see your progress and troubleshoot any issues.
If you want to get in shape, you might set a goal to walk or move your body for at least 20 minutes per day and check in every so often to see how it’s going.
If you want to learn a new hobby or skill, set a small goal to practice each day or a certain amount of times per week.
These small goals are much easier to tackle and create less pressure than a big end-of-year outcome. It also makes them measurable enough to do a weekly or monthly check-in to see how you’re progressing and whether you need any additional resources or support.
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Get an accountability partner
While sharing your goals with others can help motivate you to stay committed, it’s often not enough to merely tell people.
To follow through, most people need to be held accountable.
Pick a friend or loved one that also wants to commit to a new habit or resolution and be each other’s accountability partner. Set parameters for how you’ll stay in touch regularly and decide how you’ll encourage each other during setbacks.
I recommend setting up a schedule for regular check-ins so you both stay committed to following through on your resolution. If one or both of you starts to slip, it’s an excellent chance for some compassion and encouragement.
If you find these meetings start to become few and far between, re-engage with why you chose this resolution in the first place and see if you can recommit. If your accountability partner isn’t as committed, you may need to find someone else.
Give yourself a break when you stumble
One of the biggest setbacks when it comes to resolutions is the inevitable backsliding into old or even unhealthy habits that undermine your goals. This happens to everyone at some point, so it’s very important to have a cope ahead plan to deal with it.
Remember that if you hit a stumbling block and give up, you can always course correct by re-engaging with your resolution. Go back and look at that meaningful reason you started in the first place and remind yourself why it’s important to you.
Or maybe it’s less important and you need to redefine your goal or adjust your daily actions.
You’ll also need to be realistic with yourself about the cost of stopping your actions. Even if you’ve slipped up for a long time, you didn’t really lose any of your previous progress because you’ll have gained valuable experience and insight.
You’ll be able to pinpoint what derailed you and put together a new cope ahead plan to offset any potential issues for next time. No amount of effort is ever truly wasted, even if it feels that way.
When faced with a choice to reengage or stop entirely, there will be a cost to both decisions. The cost of reengaging will likely be shame, frustration, and impatience. The cost of stopping entirely is losing out on any potential gains. Recognizing this can help you make space for any discomfort around reengaging because the “easier” choice of stopping isn’t actually that easy.
No matter what, make sure you’re being patient, compassionate, and encouraging! These are 3 qualities that will help you stay committed and make it an enjoyable process, rather than an annoying chore.
Use these steps to set yourself up for a mindfully productive year! If at any point you start slipping or lose motivation, remember to be kind to yourself. It takes at least two months for new habits to stick, so give yourself a break if you struggle to implement.
For more help creating and maintaining new habits, check out my other post: How to Build Healthy Habits (and Stick to Them).
